Better late than never, the year 2007 in review. - Part ONE

I’ve had a pretty severe blogging dryspell but I’m hoping to make up for it here. It’s the year in review, so sit back and get caught up on what’s happening in the lives of the jetsetting Hogskins. And remember, click on any picture for biggerness.

In January we celebrated Donna and Melissa’s birthdays. Look at this woman. I love her.

We had dinner at Mema’s, chicken casserole. My tapeworm was in heaven. Here’s birthday girl number 2 with her other half and Joey. It’s always nice to remind her that she’s 2 years older than me. Booyah!

Here’s my favorite little girl with her Daddy. She’s not really that small (and her daddy’s head isn’t really that big) it’s just the camera angle. This kid is awesome, I smile whenever I think about her.

February rolled around and Donna went away for a scrapbooking weekend. We had guy time so we threw a couple guns into the truck and headed for the hills. Jack and Joe decided they wanted to shoot a big buck so I gave them my rifle and told them to meet me back at the truck in a couple hours and I’d help them skin it out. Apparently their deer hunting skills are on par with their father’s because they came back empty handed.

The end of February brought opening day. They’re in the big leagues now, hitting balls from a pitching machine.

The boys celebrated 6 years of me not making good on my pledge to drown them if they didn’t buck up and behave by having a pirate/puppy party. Again, Donna threw a great party. I’m undeserving of that woman.

About this time I went underground and didn’t really surface for about 6 weeks due to tax season hell. This one was the worst in my 15 year career. I hated it. I considered going back to modeling. Donna seized on the opportunity to take the boys camping with Danny & Mary & kids to Leo Carillo. Judging by the pictures they had a great time. I wasn’t bitter that they were camping at the beach while I was doing taxes. Really, I wasn’t. Not that much, anyway.
For my Sioux Falls pal that come March will be enjoying a daytime high temperature of -3 take a look at this.
I know the way things are going someday you'll be governor or king or president or whatever it is you freezing crazies have but doesn't this make you want to move back here just a little?

Look at these two, a couple non-tax return preparing creeps if I ever saw any. Like I said, I’m not bitter.
Easter Sunday was kind of a bummer this year. The night before Joe was up to the wee hours empyting his innards via his mouth onto the hallway carpet. The next morning he sat on the couch and navigated his brother to the treats that the easter bunny had left him.

Eventually he decided, “This is for suckers, I’m gettin’ my own loot.”

I stayed home from church with Joe while Donna and Jack attended services. At some point he felt better, at least well enough to go to Mema’s house for the outdoor egg hunt. Looks like he’s feeling better, doesn’t it?

Here’s my favorite niece sporting the latest in fashionable headgear.

I can’t remember if I mentioned it but this tax season really sucked. So I decided to take the boys on a little weekend camping trip. The trip served dual purposes – besides the camping it gave Donna a little “me time”, something she hadn’t had in about 8 or 10 weeks. We went to Cachuma with Dean and his boys for a couple nights. We rode bikes, told guy jokes, scratched ourselves, fished. It was pretty much heavenly. Joe landed this hawg on the first evening.

Turns out it was the only fish to be caught. I cooked it up for Sunday’s dinner when we got home. Joe kept reminding us that he was the only one to catch a fish. “Isn’t this a good-tasting fish I caught?” “Aren’t you glad I caught this fish, because you guys didn’t and if I hadn’t caught this fish we wouldn’t have anything to eat?” “Isn’t this a good fish?” It was a big fish and a tasty fish but he was still a punk for reminding us like that.

At the end of May Joey participated in the school’s talent show. He did a demo of “stack ‘ems” in front of the whole school. I couldn’t get out of work but I watched the video of it. He was the only kindergartener to perform. I was so proud of him, he was clearly petrified but he choked it back and did great.

June came quick and we attended my nephew Ian’s wedding. Though I have a strict policy of not attending weddings there was no getting out of this one. Especially after I bagged on the last one. And I kinda wanted to go because I like Ian. So we went. It was a surprisingly good time and I was glad I went. But don’t tell my wife.

Alright, brace yourself because this is a long one. This is the vacation we’ve wanted to do for years but there was always one reason or another we didn’t. It was the mother of all roadtrips and months & months of planning went into it. The itinerary was planned with exactness, there was no varying. Except for when your wife is doubled over in pain two days before you’re supposed to leave. My wife is tough and this was no ordinary bellyache, this was something special. After much poking, prodding, imaging and hemming & hawing they said “You’ve got diver-something or other and you should cancel your trip. Today is Thursday. Take these pills. If you’re not better by Monday go to the emergency.” On Sunday (the day we were supposed to leave) she said, “I feel better, let’s go tomorrow morning.” Then she fired up her van to go do an errand and it sounded like a cat was caught in the fan belt. “Lord, are you telling me not to go on this trip because if You are, just come right out and say it by blowing up the engine because I don’t need this kind of stress.” The next morning the dealer took the car in pronto and had it back to us in a couple hours. We looked at each other and said, “Let’s do this thang” and loaded up. Within an hour the house was in the rear-view mirror and we were on our way. It’s kind of a creepy feeling leaving your house like that for three weeks. Fortunately I had Dean to check on it and mitigate any major catastrophe like a busted pipe flooding my living room. So we were on the road about noon and we drove straight through to Salt Lake City stopping just long enough for fast food in Vegas and to stretch our legs at a UT rest stop.

It was a marathon driving session. After 11 hours we rolled into Salt Lake and crashed at the Embassy Suites. We were dead on our feet.We slept so soundly that we didn’t move until about 10:00 and we missed the stellar breakfast we’d heard about so hit McDonald’s (I’ve started a petition to make it a felony to call that swill food) and then got on the road. Within a few hours we were in Idaho. This is about as much as we saw of it.

By early afternoon we were on the edge of Wyoming, looking over the Jackson Hole area. To say it is beautiful is an understatement.

We got down into the town of Jackson and went to the park with the four antler arches. They’re pretty darn cool.

But the town of Jackson (in my opinion) is a total tourist trap and I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. The traffic rivals the worst I’ve ever seen (since I drive the 405/101 everyday that should tell you something). There was a bunch of shops where you can pay $20,000 for a blanket or a picture frame or “I {heart} Jackson Hole” t-shirt but that assumes that you can find a parking space. We crept through town and finally made it north to our destination, the Flagg Ranch Resort.

The place is really nice, individual cabins about the property which is located in between the Grand Teton National Park and Yellowstone National Park. It’s nice because we were central to a lot of different stuff. We stayed there a handful of nights, making day trips to the Grand Teton park and into Yellowstone. We went to Jackson Lake, hiked to waterfalls, saw various critters up close. It was cool. Here we are at Jackson Lake watching a school of trout. Antelope

Buffalo
Two moose (mooses? meese? meeses?) The boys at a waterfall we hiked to. With the Tetons in the background

One day we stopped at a lakeside pizza place for dinner. We sat on the deck, ate pizza and just had a great time.We had just gotten back to the car and were heading back to our cabin when my stomach began turning over. I knew I needed a bathroom but I figured making it back to the cabin was doable. But the thing about these national parks is that they are HUGE and to preserve their national parkiness they are not littered with gas stations or rest stops or stores. Or bathrooms. When we were about 20 minutes away from the restaurant I realized that we still had about 30 miles until we were back at our cabin. And did I mention that the speed limit is 40 mph to keep you from running over the abundance of wildlife? The situation was getting terminal - squirming in the seat, sweaty upper lip, gurgling noises from my gut when a campground magically appeared. I tore into that place and found the only toilet for 30 miles. Thank God it was empty because I'd have pulled anybody short of the good Lord Himself off of that throne.

That night I didn't sleep well and I started to have some kind of worry attack. We were far away from home in the middle of freaking nowhere (which was the point of the story above, not to regale you with tales of my digestive gymnastics) and I just got this uneasy feeling that something bad was about to happen. The next morning the boys were up first, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. I was sitting on the edge of the bed with the camera in my lap and Jack walked up and stood in front of me with this big silly grin on his face. He didn't have a care in the world, it was like he knew that if anything happened his daddy would take care of it. I snapped a picture but I can still remember his expression without it.

At that moment I felt the Lord saying, "You need to have faith in Me the way this boy has faith in you." And I'm not some hocus-pocus type of Christian, I can only recall the Lord speaking to me in such a way one other time but I felt this total peace cover me and I just felt completely content and safe. It was a turning point for me. That day was a good one, we made a trip into Yellowstone and saw a lot of neat stuff.

Like this elk...And this incredible waterfall... We made our way over to see Old Faithful.Outside of Old Faithful, there is not a ton else to see at this location. There's a whole bunch of these...


They're little holes in the ground with bubbling mineral water that smells like somebody put my old football jock & a full baby diaper into a blender and ran it for a good five minutes.

Later that day we were back at the cabin for a wrestling match which ended up with one mild concussion when Jack fell off the bed and hit his head on the nightstand. I told Donna it probably could have been prevented if she had just said, "Knock it off!" but she didn't. She rebutted that she was screaming it the whole time, loud enough that the neighbors stopped what they were doing but we all know that my delicate little flower isn't capable of raising her voice like that.

The next morning we rose early and took a scenic float trip down the Snake River.

It was really cool. We shared the raft with these two 65+ year old English ladies who were a delight. They were very knowledgeable about birds and waterfowl, telling us in detail about each specie we saw.


At one point we were cruising along and I said, "Say, isn't that a bald eagle up there?"
The English ladies clasped their hands together and said, "Well DONE, Mr. Hogskin!" (say it aloud in an English accent, it's pretty funny).

Later that day we loaded up for our drive east to Cody. On the way we spotted this bull moose in a river...

I'd never been to Cody and only heard that it was a one horse town. What I heard was right. But it was one of the neatest places I've ever been, I suppose it just suits my redneck personality. I wouldn't want to live there but it's a great place to visit. We stayed at the Cody Legacy Inn (owned by Buffalo Bill Cody's grand-niece or somebody vaguely related). Couldn't have asked for a nicer place. The town is rich in history and character. Every year at that time they have a major rodeo invitational. We went to it both nights we were there and it was a blast.



There's a shop/mini-museum in town that has a miniature model of the history of the state. And I know you're thinking "lame" but it was actually pretty cool. I know what you're going to ask and the answer is "No, I didn't go to the Buffalo Bill Museum" because we ran out of time. And I was crushed about it but at least I now have a good reason to return. I did however hit the local fireworks store and did some damage. Donna & Joe were trying to harsh our mellow but Jack & I ignored them and went on a major spending spree. We bought a large assortment of felonious favors for the impending 4th of July.

The next day we headed east to South Dakota and traveled through the prettiest country I'd ever seen. There were deep green meadows that went as far as the eye could see and there wasn't a soul around. Heavenly.It was a very, very long drive but we finally arrived in...
We stayed at the K-Bar S Lodge and we had this view from our deck...
Which was nice. As excited as I was to see Mt. Rushmore I was more excited to see our friends Jason, Tracy and kids. We got settled in, fed our tapeworms, and then went to the monument.

Jason, being an artist and a history buff was a wealth of info about the monument and its history. He might consider adding "docent" to the myriad jobs he's doing right now.
The next day we visited a mine. The history of this area is rich and to see what some of these people went through in their quest for wealth is impressive. And crazy.

Safety briefing...You get to wear a helmet that's been warn by about 500 other people which is no problem for a germphobe like myself. I had the willies pretty much the whole time wondering what kind of yet undiscovered parasites were leaping from this stylish yellow bucket onto my dome but the helmet was a necessity due to the low rock ceiling. We went pretty deep into the mine and my claustrophobia was swelling. I was glad to get out. Yes - germphobia, claustrophobia, I'm nuts. I know. Thanks.
We spent the afternoon at the Black Hills National Forest having a picnic, swimming in the lake. That evening we visited Camp Judson, a nearby Christian Camp where Jason speaks regularly. After we grubbed we sat on the deck while the kids played in the field below. It's a great place. I like having friends in high places that can hook us up like this.

On the way back to the lodge we saw this group of democrats. I tried to do the world a favor and take a few out with the bumper but they got out of the way too quickly. Them democrats are sly! The next day we went east to Sioux Falls, Jason's home town. On the way we stopped at Wall Drug and if you've never been there I can't really describe it to you except to say it's the mother of all tourist traps and I LOVED IT. What you can expect if you decided to visit....
We pushed on and made it to Sioux Falls. We stayed at the Ramada because they have an indoor pool with a pirate ship. You know why they have an indoor pool with a pirate ship? Because it's so freakin' cold ten months out of the year that an outdoor pool would be solid ice. Anyway, it's cool and the kids (and adults) had a blast.We stayed there a night and then our buddies put us up at their place. It's a great place and I have some cool pictures of it but I can't post them because he's a bigshot in the state and it would be like posting photos of my last trip to Camp David, a no-no. On the 4th of July we visited the falls of Sioux Falls. Beautiful.
I love being an American.

Later we had a barbecue, bought a bunch more explosives and then went to Jason's buddy's place to blow them off.
If there were mountains nearby I'd move there in a heartbeat. I was in heaven. Another one of those benefits of having friends in high places kinda things.

The next day we packed the car and finally started to drive in the direction of home. I was a little sad because seeing Jason and his family was the high point of the vacation (for me, anyway). I miss them terribly. Anyway, we drove all day and ended up in Kearney, Nebraska to go to well, you know...I shot my wad (of money, that is) inside that place. It actually took two days to do so. We stayed at a motel overnight. I know, I accept your scorn.

We went south and into
We stayed with our buddies, Bruce & Melissa and Bryce & Corey. Our first day there we went to Red Rock Amphitheater near Golden. A visitor's center told about all the bands that have played there. The list is impressive.There's a river that runs right through Golden and we had a picnic right next to it. The local yokels grab any floating item they can find and float down during the summer. Looked fun but we weren't really prepared.


That night we visited the Adams family. No, the other Adams family.

And we got to celebrate Jeremy's birthday with them. Which was nice.


The next day we loaded up and hit the road. We had planned to overnight in Grand Junction but we were making good time so we planned to push through to Vegas. Little did we know that darn near all of Utah was on fire. So we got stuck about three hours outside of Vegas and had to get a hotel. A nice place but in the middle of BF Egypt. The next morning the fire danger was gone and we made it into Vegas. I have to tell you, I really hate that place. The heat was oppressive. Everything is way overpriced. There's women walking around with their girlparts hanging out at all hours of the day & night. The whole place is just a big steaming pile. But we had a voucher for two free nights so we stayed one. We played in the arcades, saw the M&M museum (colossal waste of time, trust me on this), and went to see a movie. We're the only family I've ever known that goes to Vegas to see a movie.We were on the road and headed home by noon on day 2. We were antsy to get home and sleep in our own bed. We pulled into the drive around 5:00, totally spent but thankful for a great time. The boys behaved perfectly and never once got whiney about being stuck in the car. I was amazed. I think I'd like to do that trip again but with less structure so we can be more flexible as to where we stay & how long.

PART TWO of 2007 to follow shortly, stay tuned.